SINK TO THE BOTTOM

Some days you feel. Some days you can’t. Being around other people with similar issues can be helpful, but as I’ve said before, it’s best to find someone that is both positive and understanding. Joining together in misery sounds great, but that’s not where it’s at.

You know the miserable do love company

What do you want from me and my scars?

Kendrick Lamar - i

DBT and support groups are a bit like this though, but they’re at least guided by one or more people that have training and can help you keep focused. I’ve never not been in a DBT group where we all break the rules of sharing contact information and stay somewhat in touch. There’s also always been some free time built into the days where someone admits to substance abuse just to get through the day, something that doesn’t seem to come up in session.

I’ve gone back to being straight edge since all my meds say “Do Not Take with Alcohol.” I still deal with my persistent problems with anorexia and being underweight enough that the meds either have too much or not enough effect and it’s plenty to deal with regarding my treatment. I don’t need to drink to “space out” anyways; meds do that for me. Then again, the meds are supposed to make “me”, “me” again.

Substance abuse is a heightened side-effect of bipolar. Mixing substances with meds doesn’t sound like a terrific idea, so stick to your schedule, don’t stray. Not taking meds has had horrific effects on my mental health, and I’m not a psychiatrist, so I do what I’m told (to the best of my abilities), regardless of the side-effects.